SABOTAGE

I started making bad choices during my night shift. I was working with one colleague, whom I wasn't sure if things would go smoothly with. (They did, she was great.) Still. During our report the guy going off shift had said that there was so much junk for us to eat. She laughed and said that we'd eat it all. As soon as she said it I knew I'd eat it. I was so relieved actually, that she was so friendly that I just abandoned my goals.

And I fell off the wagon.

So there's something kind of strange about women. We have all these opinions. And we can can express our feelings so logically that it's so easy to understand each other. It's not until a day or so later that a different logic seems just as logical. And then more feelings become involved. Maybe some options or choices. Perhaps new feelings or opinions. And before you know it 3 days have passed where you've eaten boatloads of chocolate, sworn you wouldn't do it again. Relapsed several minutes later. Reminded yourself tomorrow is a new day. Created another imaginary health reason to defend your healthy eating. Eaten all the stuff you swore you wouldn't. Again and again.

So, these are the trigger quotes:

1.    "Ugh. These girls now don't know how to have fun! No one drinks and they don't eat. Their all on a diet. It's like, please, just get a life. If you can't even enjoy yourself than get a life." 

2. CONTENT REMOVED

So, for number 1. Some people are just so unfairly genetically blessed. It's so hard to change habits. If my friend that I see once a week and I have always relaxed with beer and food while gossiping it disturbs the natural balance to say "No, I'm not going to do that anymore." I mean I could. But I don't want to. So I'm not really sure what to do.

#2. AGAIN

I've thought a lot about this. Drinking and eating are fun. And I love to eat and drink with my friends. I couldn't imagine not having those friends to relax and have a great time with. So what's the solution? Once every two weeks just allow the few hours to drink beer and eat whatever while we have the chance? But then again, there's the problem of the wagon. If I fall off it usually takes me a few days to get back up. Somehow I think about it too much and it ruins everything. And it's not usually once every 2 weeks. I try to get together with my friend once a week. Plus the man and I love food and drink.

On the 14th I have plans with my model friend. We're going for sushi and then going back to her house to bake gingerbread. (Drink beer and maybe eat some gingerbread dough.)

I'm supposed to go out on the 10th with my school friends. But I kind of don't want to. I'm not so interested in parties and going out. I like staying in. Still, I've backed out of the past 3 parties. Maybe I go and leave early due to parent duties. Totally reasonable.

Men never say the sh#t that women due regarding diets. Why do women need to have opinions and advice. It's so annoying. There should only ever be 1 response if you turn down food. Just an "okay." No "why?" Why is so often followed by such a headache.

Or is it all me? A lot of it must be me. I am a woman with those feelings and emotions I'm ragging on. I want to get above the feelings and emotions. I don't want to care about other people when it comes to what I eat. Except in the cases of support. Support is great. And rare. (Due credit to my blond sister in law who understands girlsh#t very well.)

Sidenote* We have been having the best blizzard here for 24 hours.

My new number one goal is to not care at all about other people's thoughts and opinions concerning my diet.

Okay. I should get on a scale still. That's number 2.

The not eating after dinner doesn't suit nightshifts and my crazy life. Maybe I can plan to just be more organized in my food planning. #3!